Cat Vomit
This rant has absolutly nothing to do about cat vomit. After all, this is my random little world. Anyhoo....
So I was doing my part to stay informed at CNN.com, and I came upon a surprising article. So the CDC issued a health report saying that Heroin users are being exposed to a dangerous additive. Let's go over this again, just so that I make myself clear. HEROIN users are being exposed to a dangerous additive. This is a breakthrough. The CDC, using the vast amount of resources at their disposal, have come to the conclusion that heroin users, the people violently forcing a drug comprised of plant extracts, chlorine, ammonia, and nitrates into their veins, are being exposed to a dangerous additive. Its fucking heroin!!!!! As far as I'm concerned, that is the dangerous additive!!!!!!! Believe it or not, I find little comfort in the fact that the CDC, the people that I depend on to protect me from ebola, are spending tax dollars to find out whether or not there is a growth hormone in heroin.
I also take little comfort in knowing that my president is out joyriding while we are at war. George Bush went on a 17 mile bike ride with Lance Armstrong on Saturday, in what he dubbed the "tour de Crawford". Here's an idea- how about instead of wasting time biking in the "tour de Crawford", you go on a "tour de Iraq" and see just how much you fucked them over.
And speaking of fucking, why do people use Trojan condoms? I personally would never, ever trust them. Let's take a look at the Trojan Horse story. Odysseus concieved a plan to present a horse as a gift to the city of Troy. What Troy dosn't know is that the horse is filled with little men, so that night when everyone is either asleep or passed out, these little men jump out of the horse, raid, pillage, plunder, and otherwise pilfer their weasly black guts out. This is how accidents happen. I would very much like it if my little men did not come spewing out of the horse in the middle of the night. I would sleep better knowing this.
Well, this is my rant for the day. Enjoy.
So I was doing my part to stay informed at CNN.com, and I came upon a surprising article. So the CDC issued a health report saying that Heroin users are being exposed to a dangerous additive. Let's go over this again, just so that I make myself clear. HEROIN users are being exposed to a dangerous additive. This is a breakthrough. The CDC, using the vast amount of resources at their disposal, have come to the conclusion that heroin users, the people violently forcing a drug comprised of plant extracts, chlorine, ammonia, and nitrates into their veins, are being exposed to a dangerous additive. Its fucking heroin!!!!! As far as I'm concerned, that is the dangerous additive!!!!!!! Believe it or not, I find little comfort in the fact that the CDC, the people that I depend on to protect me from ebola, are spending tax dollars to find out whether or not there is a growth hormone in heroin.
I also take little comfort in knowing that my president is out joyriding while we are at war. George Bush went on a 17 mile bike ride with Lance Armstrong on Saturday, in what he dubbed the "tour de Crawford". Here's an idea- how about instead of wasting time biking in the "tour de Crawford", you go on a "tour de Iraq" and see just how much you fucked them over.
And speaking of fucking, why do people use Trojan condoms? I personally would never, ever trust them. Let's take a look at the Trojan Horse story. Odysseus concieved a plan to present a horse as a gift to the city of Troy. What Troy dosn't know is that the horse is filled with little men, so that night when everyone is either asleep or passed out, these little men jump out of the horse, raid, pillage, plunder, and otherwise pilfer their weasly black guts out. This is how accidents happen. I would very much like it if my little men did not come spewing out of the horse in the middle of the night. I would sleep better knowing this.
Well, this is my rant for the day. Enjoy.
posted by Eon Blue Apocalypse at 10:19 PM
2 Comments:
do the writers of pirates of the carabian know you stole one of their lines??
you know the whole heroin thing, its like when their about to kill someone (kill not punish all right, cause lets be honest, punishing them would be sending em to play scrabble with BUSH and seeing what kinds of words he'd end up with) via lethal injection, they give em a wipe down with an alcohol swab first, in case any infections get in. You know, cause if the POISON doesn't kill you, we wanna make sure those big bad germs don't make you feel icky in the morning...by the way vij, you're my absolute hero!!!
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