A slow start
It's been a while, but I'm back...
A recent thought... I was standing on the second floor of a two story building, about to walk down the stairs when I had an epiphany... how do handicapped people escape from burning buildings? The signs clearly state "in case of fire, use stairs", but that just seems like some cruel joke the powers that be are playing on the cast of Murderball. My first thought would be to use the trash chute. It would be like a giant slide, only for grown-ups, but then I realized you'd be landing in a pile of presumably flammable and quite possibly toxic waste, and then of course you'd have to deal with the whole "I can't use my legs" thing. Hmm, not an acceptable solution... Really, those poor bastards don't deserve to burn while the rest of us ambulatory folk spite them with our survival. Sure, it could be natural selection at work, but thats just harsh...
Another random thought regarding the gays... imagine what it must have been like for the first cave man to come out to his family. That must have been some pretty terrible news, hell, it was probably a death sentence for the tribe. "Fuck, that was our only son!" Even still, since being gay was a new concept, he would have to be the first person to "experiment", and figure out exactly how he was going to manage. Then of course, he would have to explain this all to his parents, cause I'm sure they would be quite curious.
"Well, you see dad, if you push hard enough, it just kinda goes in..."
Even better, imagine when the first two gay people met. Imagine how that conversation went...
"Hey, I'm gay..."
"No shit! Me too!"
"Well then, lets go into a back room and stick things where they don't belong!" (Experiment with different accents, see which one works best)
And back then, there probably wasn't much of a market for lube...
A recent thought... I was standing on the second floor of a two story building, about to walk down the stairs when I had an epiphany... how do handicapped people escape from burning buildings? The signs clearly state "in case of fire, use stairs", but that just seems like some cruel joke the powers that be are playing on the cast of Murderball. My first thought would be to use the trash chute. It would be like a giant slide, only for grown-ups, but then I realized you'd be landing in a pile of presumably flammable and quite possibly toxic waste, and then of course you'd have to deal with the whole "I can't use my legs" thing. Hmm, not an acceptable solution... Really, those poor bastards don't deserve to burn while the rest of us ambulatory folk spite them with our survival. Sure, it could be natural selection at work, but thats just harsh...
Another random thought regarding the gays... imagine what it must have been like for the first cave man to come out to his family. That must have been some pretty terrible news, hell, it was probably a death sentence for the tribe. "Fuck, that was our only son!" Even still, since being gay was a new concept, he would have to be the first person to "experiment", and figure out exactly how he was going to manage. Then of course, he would have to explain this all to his parents, cause I'm sure they would be quite curious.
"Well, you see dad, if you push hard enough, it just kinda goes in..."
Even better, imagine when the first two gay people met. Imagine how that conversation went...
"Hey, I'm gay..."
"No shit! Me too!"
"Well then, lets go into a back room and stick things where they don't belong!" (Experiment with different accents, see which one works best)
And back then, there probably wasn't much of a market for lube...
posted by Eon Blue Apocalypse at 1:56 AM
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